What I’m going to miss Medical School

1. Having an excuse to devour a hamburger and fries like an angry, starving, wild, wolf-liger offspring

When you haven’t eaten, sat down,or drank in 8 hours, you don’t care how many people stare at you and your ketchup-stained scrubs at the local hamburger restaurant. And if you do catch someone staring, you just give them a look back that says, “Look, lady, I almost fainted into an open body after I got sprayed with blood all over my face. What did you do this morning?”

2. Knowing who my people are

We drive each other crazy. Some days, we hate each other. Some days, we love each other. We fight and hug and run and stay up late together, because when you’re so far away from home, you have to depend on each other to survive. Family isn’t perfect, but it’s our family.

What do you do when you don’t have an automatic group of friends? How do you bond over things that don’t involve body fluids, death, crazy patients, and complaining about a doctor or classmate you both already mutually know?

3. Having access to an insane amount of potent drugs

…no comment.*

4. Having a reason got complain

“I hate taking old people’s blood! Why are there so many old people at the hospital?”

“Can you believe there’s a mandatory meeting on the weekend? That’s MY time!”

“Do we seriously have a test every 2-4 weeks on completely new material?”

“Can’t we just throw drugs at him already?”

“I have to study how many hours per day during Step prep?”

“ANOTHER bariatric surgery? She was just in here two years ago for a gastric band!”

Without this constant stressful force of “the man” controlling my pathetic student life, who will I direct my anger towards? And, what will there be to complain about? Traffic? Makeup? I have no idea!

5. Not having a reason to complain

In the hospital, there are always 5 other people within 5 yards of you that are having a worse day than you. The guy who’s got pneumonia superimposed on COPD is having a bad day. The intern who’s pulling a 36 hour shift with 4 kids at home really knows what tired means. The crying family members of a deceased loved one, just had their life change. The guy with degenerative neurological condition who you had to undress and dig into his groin with a very large needle because it was your last ditch effort to get the precious blood that your intern order that morning, didn’t wake up.

It’s a very humbling experience to live a whole day that’s not about you and your needs because there’s a whole hospital full of people who need medical assistance. It’s why I originally wanted to become a doctor.

*This is a joke. FBI, please don’t come after me.

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